love lessons from the best of the 90’s (and beyond)

Sometimes the best love lessons are right in front of your eyes–or, in this case, on your television. Whether you find yourself saddled with a moody poetry writer, tasked with snagging the cutest guy at school or considering ahem, jumping ship, I’m convinced we can learn all we need to know about relationships from 90’s entertainment (and a bit beyond). Here’s a simple (and OK–sometimes sarcastic and sassy) breakdown:

 

22731434474

It’s like, totally OK to love your step brother: If Clueless taught us anything, it’s this: that cute guy you have your eye on? He’s probably gay. But no worries, because as it turns out, your adorable, slightly boyish step-brother-but-not-really-step-brother is like, totally is crushing on you. Pass up on love just because some silly law says it so not OK? AS IF!

 

url>

 

Don’t play dumb, just be a bitch: Forget faking dumb at algebra to get a guy’s attention–being a bitch is really where it’s at**. In girl world, it’s all about putting your Aaron Samuels in his place. Tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back, then go hook up with his teammate in the projection room above the auditorium. If it’s a Wednesday, make sure you wear pink. Before you know it, guys within a three mile radius will be clamoring for your attention. Four for you Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco.

 

 

url

 

Hint–nobody likes a train wreck: Having one glass of wine too many and getting giggly with your guy? Cute. Popping pills and passing out in an alleyway in Tijuana? I’m going to go with not cute. The damsel in distress act gets really old, really quick, so get your stuff together girlfriend. Even Coop eventually lost Ryan Atwood (it took like, a zillion seasons, but it happened). I mean, the guy comes from Chino–it’s hard to scare him away. Word to the wise: harness your crazy, ASAP.

 

 

url

 

Get the heck out of your comfort zone: As Titanic proves, the love of your life (or at least the love of your cruise) may be laying right outside the border of your comfort zone. Dance on a table, spit like a man and don’t write anybody off–you never know, a “steerage rat” maybe actually turn out to be your prince charming. Any guy who says he’d jump if you jump is a keeper. Just please, at least share the couch equally when you cuddle up–there was room for two on that damn door.

 

url-2

 

Sometimes, it’s OK to hate the one you love: Yes, I said it. It’s OK–normal even. But remember: there’s a difference between like and love. I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack. Prada backpack-style relationships have a certain ebb and flow…there will be fights and moments where you really just can’t stand each other, and other magical times where things will fall together perfectly. Hate his cooking, hate how he never wears socks, hate eight, nine, even ten things about him. But don’t hate eleven. Hit eleven, and you’re screwed.

 

 

url

 

Sometimes, all it takes is a little mascara: Take it from Laney Boggs–a little makeup can go a long way. It’s not so much about making yourself look pretty enough for a guy, it’s more about making yourself feel pretty. So what if it takes you a few coats of mascara and a fresh blow-out to feel up-to-snuff? You’ll walk down those plush carpeted stairs feeling like a babe (to the tune of Kiss Me, naturally) and take his breath away.

 

 

void[0]

 

It’s OK to be the nerd: Or the quiet one, or the virgin, or the worry wart or the dork. Just be you. Nothing is less attractive than someone who screams “trying too hard” and an authentic Josie Grossie will win out over a Phony Phoebe any day. It really is true what they say–there’s a Mr. Coulson out there for everybody. Just uh, make sure he’s not really your teacher. Outside of Never Been Kissed and Pretty Little Liars, that’s pretty illegal.

 

 

tumblr_m7f145kovS1rwf6dlo1_500

 

Be with your Bee Eff Eff: It all boils down to this–at the end of the day, just be with your BFF. It doesn’t matter if it starts out as a Friends With Benefits situation or a full-blown pedal-to-the-metal love affair. What matters is this: you can laugh, cry, yell, argue, celebrate and commiserate together. You have just as much fun making a blanket fort as you doing taking in a ball game or heading out for a fancy dinner. He knows you suck at all forms of Xbox and doesn’t care. You know he only pretends to give a crap if coral or red lipstick match your outfit better. Turns out, guys and girls can be besties–they just usually happen to be sleeping together.

 

 

**Obviously, I know being a bitch isn’t where it’s at!

Comments

  1. withluckblog says

    hahah this is an awesome post! And I’m so glad you brought up such an important point- there really was room for 2 on that damn door!! That part kills me. Use some common sense, Kate!

    Jenn
    With Luck

  2. says

    Amazing!!! I totally want to re-watch all of these today since I’m stuck at home sick in bed. I almost forgot about the OC and I’m pretty sure I have at least the first few seasons on DVD somewhere!!

  3. says

    Oh my gosh this may be my favourite post ever! LOVE all these! Man to be back in the 90’s as a 90’s kid… those were the good days! I love all your lessons, they are simply HILARIOUS

  4. says

    Impressed that you actually hit on ALL of the greatest 90s movies and now you have me wanting to watch them all! Looks like John is in for a trip down memory lane tonight…anyway I totally love this post and what great advice you gave too. These things are all important parts of having a great relationship and I especially agree with your last point about being with your best friend. The mascara tip is good too – it can be easy to kind of let yourself go when you’re living with your boyfriend (I’m totally admitting to this right now) so it’s important to remember to step it up a notch every once in a while!

    Steph

  5. Jenee C. says

    OMG I just had a major trip down memory lane! I think you pretty much covered every single 90’s movie that I loved. Gee it’s great being a 90’s kid. Absolutely loved your witty writing too. Don’t know if you’ve noticed yourself, but your writing has been getting better and better! Sometimes I forget that it’s not a magazine I’m reading.

    xx Jenee C.
    {camo meets couture}

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>